Shadow of a Doubt
by s.grand
Summary: There’s only one thing Draco Malfoy can say without needing to wonder if it’s true, without a shadow of a doubt. One-shot!


When you live your whole life believing that there's no such thing as "truth" – that there's no such thing as "integrity" – then believing in something becomes hard, whatever it is. You doubt everything people say, everything people do. It's all a show; you juggle through life playing the part of both the faithful, gullible audience, and the ever-so-cunning illusionist. You pretend to allow yourself to be fooled – all the while knowing in the back of your mind that this is just a simple performance – and in turn, you're allowed your own few seconds in the spotlight.

Inevitably, after a while, you stop believing yourself as well as everyone else. A part of you begins to believe the lies you live by; after all, if everyone else can be fooled by them, so can you. Everything is ruled by deception – you doubt your feelings, your thoughts, and then consequently your whole life. Your thoughts are deluding. Your feelings are misleading. And there you are, passing every single day but never really living it, all because your whole world is tainted by shadows of doubt.

But I know for sure that there's one thing I can say without being skeptical about it. There's one thing I don't have to twist and toss over while everyone else sleeps peacefully, the way normal people do. There's one thing I can tell myself over and over, and yet never worry about whether my thoughts are deceiving me, or if my feelings are misleading my thoughts. There's only one thing I can say without needing to wonder if it's true, without a shadow of a doubt.

Well, no, that's a small lie. There are a couple things I can say without a shadow of a doubt. Those every day, normally trivial things you know about yourself that you never really mention because they're so blindingly obvious.

To prove it, here are some random, no-doubt facts about myself, off the top of my head:

I worship Quidditch. I always will.

I don't want to sound conceited or whatever, but I like the way I look in the mirror. And I think that's normal. People who _don't_ like the way they look in the mirror are in denial (and by that I mean they're deceiving themselves; Merlin known what they want to prove). Everyone – and I mean _everyone_ – finds themselves at least remotely good-looking. Even Goyle does, and by Merlin, that's saying something.

I always had a tiny crush on Madam Pomfrey. Don't ask me why.

I once accidentally went to a gay bar. The no-doubt part about this fact is that it truly was an accident, and I honestly had no intention of going in there. I didn't realize I had made a mistake either, until a woman with an insanely large Adam's apple started hitting on me.

I was relieved when my father died. I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth. It was as though someone suddenly unlocked all the chains that were binding me, even though I never knew I had been bound in the first place.

I think Potter's scar is ludicrous. Seriously.

I always thought Aunt Bella had some sort of screw loose. Even before Azkaban. I felt bad for the guy who married her. At least until I found out he was as crazy as she was.

But more than any of these (and I can go on with these all day), more than all these random and honestly true facts about me put together, I know there's one bona fide truth that I'll believe in more than any of the others. This is something I just _know_, and the only thing I can't really explain:

There was only one person who could make me listen to songs and pay attention to the lyrics, then actually relate to them; only one person who's intentions I never doubted, who's love I never questioned. There was only one person who could make me look at all the faces in a crowd, hoping against all hope that one of them will belong to her, and then make me feel like I had been handed the whole world on a silver platter when I see her sitting there with a lazy smile playing over her lips, her eyes shining.

There was only one person who could make me write things like this and feel like there's actually a point to it; only one person who could make my heart feel like it was expanding and being compressed painfully at the same time. There was only one person who could push all my buttons and yet still keep me coming back; only one person who could give me everything and still leave me wanting more.

There was only one woman in my life who cast light upon all the shadows of doubt I had ever created for myself – who cast away all those doubts and fears as easily as she stole my heart.

It's you, Hermione. It was always you.

**A/N: **_After not writing for _MONTHS_, I wrote this in little over an hour before heading to school for an exam. Honestly, you'd think we would all know better, because whatever you guys say, I know you're all guilty of either reading or writing when you have better things to do._

_Anyway, it's obviously not my best work, but it's light-hearted and it feels good to just have written something after so long! I wanted to change it a bit (add a little more depth to it or something), but then I decided I'd just let it go. Sometimes you should just leave well enough alone. ;)_

_Hope you enjoyed it! I'm in a writing mood (in the middle of my exams, go figure), so expect another one-shot sometime in the future!_


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